March 15, 2010,
Cells Calming Down (specifics of treatment)
Well I am nearing the two month mark since I ended treatment. In so many ways my mind is mercifully free of many memories of all the discomfort and agony of the last grueling weeks. I daily enjoy my good appetite, energy to swim and walk, energy (yet not always good motivation!) to do most of my household tasks , and opportunities for some ministry and travel. We visited the surgeon and made a date for reconstruction for the end of October 2010. He made it very clear he did not want to cut through any scars so no hysterectomy for now. I am working with a nutritionist, trying to develop a good healthy diet for life and that is a lot of fun. My biggest battle now is with continued discomfort in my chest but it looks like God has answered that problem too in a most amazing way! I have been seeing a physical therapist for range of motion exercises and for lymphodema prevention. She has been wonderful but it was not addressing the tightness I continue to feel in my chest. Margaret was at a dinner party and met a woman who is a physical therapist in town, is a Christian, has had a mastectomy and reconstruction and who is a part of a program at St. Luke’s specializing in working with scar tissue in post mastectomy patients!!! I have contacted her and will see her next week. St. Luke’s is out of network for our insurance so prayer is needed for our discernment in how to pay for it and how many sessions I will need. We could also use prayer for the reconstructive surgery as that surgeon is out of network. We have applied for a gap exception since he is the only one in the area who does this procedure. He just happens to be the best!
Cells Calming Down (specifics of treatment)
Well I am nearing the two month mark since I ended treatment. In so many ways my mind is mercifully free of many memories of all the discomfort and agony of the last grueling weeks. I daily enjoy my good appetite, energy to swim and walk, energy (yet not always good motivation!) to do most of my household tasks , and opportunities for some ministry and travel. We visited the surgeon and made a date for reconstruction for the end of October 2010. He made it very clear he did not want to cut through any scars so no hysterectomy for now. I am working with a nutritionist, trying to develop a good healthy diet for life and that is a lot of fun. My biggest battle now is with continued discomfort in my chest but it looks like God has answered that problem too in a most amazing way! I have been seeing a physical therapist for range of motion exercises and for lymphodema prevention. She has been wonderful but it was not addressing the tightness I continue to feel in my chest. Margaret was at a dinner party and met a woman who is a physical therapist in town, is a Christian, has had a mastectomy and reconstruction and who is a part of a program at St. Luke’s specializing in working with scar tissue in post mastectomy patients!!! I have contacted her and will see her next week. St. Luke’s is out of network for our insurance so prayer is needed for our discernment in how to pay for it and how many sessions I will need. We could also use prayer for the reconstructive surgery as that surgeon is out of network. We have applied for a gap exception since he is the only one in the area who does this procedure. He just happens to be the best!
Before the Face of God (Personal Meditations)
Blows that hurt cleanse away evil, as do stripes the inner depths of the heart Proverbs 27:20
I wish I could say that I have had the peace and rest of heart you would expect at the end of treatment. But God is faithful. He is wrestling me down to the ground daily, helping me see the hidden idolatries of my heart. The wilderness I have been in is partly the result of me clinging tenaciously to some longstanding idols. I will think I have victory, only to fall the next day. He is a jealous God who wants all of our affection and He knows that ultimately only He can satisfy. I have such a strong desire to do things as a group or to be validated by other people yet many times we need to stand alone in our battle against the world, the flesh and the devil. He still ministers to me daily through His saints but this battle for my heart is one only I can wage. Pray that I will have more continuous victory for His honor and glory!
Tim and I and the boys are taking a Sunday School class based on the book How People Change by Paul David Tripp. Here are a few excerpts that have been helpful:
“What is the goal of this change? It is more than a better marriage, well-adjusted children, professional success, or freedom from a few nagging sins. God’s goal is that we would actually become like him. He doesn’t just want you to escape the fires of hell-though we praise God that through Christ you can! His goal is to free us from the slavery to sin, our bondage to self, and our functional idolatry, so that we actually take on his character!”
Tim and I and the boys are taking a Sunday School class based on the book How People Change by Paul David Tripp. Here are a few excerpts that have been helpful:
“What is the goal of this change? It is more than a better marriage, well-adjusted children, professional success, or freedom from a few nagging sins. God’s goal is that we would actually become like him. He doesn’t just want you to escape the fires of hell-though we praise God that through Christ you can! His goal is to free us from the slavery to sin, our bondage to self, and our functional idolatry, so that we actually take on his character!”
“The Centrality of the Heart as revealed in the Ten Commandments. The first three commands focus on what or whom you worship. They command us to make the one true god our God, and condemn making a god of anything else. The order of the commands is important because the commands begin by focusing on our heart tendency toward idolatry. Deuteronomy 6:4-5 is key here: these two verses capture the essence of the first commands. Its all about worship.”
“Hear, O Israel: The Lord our god, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.”
“The reason we fail to keep commands 4-6 is because we have failed to keep the first three. If you break commands 1-3 you will break commands 4-10. Your sinful responses to life grow out of a heart that has defected to worship something else.”
OUR HOPE!
“No matter what you struggle with now, no matter how successful or stuck you see yourself to be, no matter how young or how old you are in your faith, no matter if you are a man or a woman, a boy or a girl, if you are Christ’s child, there is hope for you! It is not based on who you are or what you know. Your hope is Jesus! He lives in you and because of that you have a reason to feast each new day. You no longer live, but Christ lives in you! I welcome you to a lifestyle of celebrating just what that means.”
Please join me in Thanksgiving and Supplication
*Praise god for his faithful and relentless love which pursues us constantly
*Praise God for physical, spiritual and emotional healing
*Please pray that I will be totally healed of cancer of the body
*Please pray that we will worship God with our whole heart and minds and that He will continue to show us idols in our lives and by His power cast them down
*Please pray that I will patiently wait on God and not get ahead of Him as I take back responsibilities
*Please pray for Joel as he travels to Chicago March 27th-April 3rd for inner city ministry with a college outreach group, for Tim who travels to Michigan the weekend of March27th to see his mom, for Spencer as he starts spring baseball and for the continued healthy growth of baby Dowers!
*Praise god for his faithful and relentless love which pursues us constantly
*Praise God for physical, spiritual and emotional healing
*Please pray that I will be totally healed of cancer of the body
*Please pray that we will worship God with our whole heart and minds and that He will continue to show us idols in our lives and by His power cast them down
*Please pray that I will patiently wait on God and not get ahead of Him as I take back responsibilities
*Please pray for Joel as he travels to Chicago March 27th-April 3rd for inner city ministry with a college outreach group, for Tim who travels to Michigan the weekend of March27th to see his mom, for Spencer as he starts spring baseball and for the continued healthy growth of baby Dowers!
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