June 28, 2009
Cells Behaving Badly (Specifics of Treatment)
God has given me energy to spare as evidenced in the fact I have been so busy keeping up with the family I have not had “down time” to blog. Since the last time I updated we have had lots of baseball and driver’s education for Spencer, lots of golf for Eric (who shot a 73 on Tuesday to qualify for districts), lots of work and fellowship and a delightful visit from Grove City friends for Joel, Margaret and Charlie’s departure for a 7,000 mile road trip, Father’s Day celebration, a long awaited date night with Tim after his big tournament was over at the golf course and a double wedding which we attended. We have also entered into the heavy grief and trial of our friend’s loss of their 18 year old son in a tragic accident on Hayden Lake in which two brothers collided with one another on jet skis and the Lord took one of them home to be with Him. The memorial was such a testimony of God’s goodness and grace in the midst of heart wrenching grief. Hunter had a scripture verse he had recently posted by his bed which said “And He makes EVERYTHING (Hunter’s emphasis) work out according to His plan.” (Ephesians 1:b). Please pray for the Graham family as they begin to process their sudden loss. Pray that the many teens who attended the service will respond to the exhortation to surrender their lives to the Lord and live in light of eternity. We have had good discussions as a family and I have seen good fruit already in my son’s lives.
Tim and I met with the breast surgeon who will perform the double mastectomy and came away cheered and encouraged. We definitely have the “dream team” for my treatment. We are now scheduled for October 5th for surgery which should last for about 3!/2 hours not 10 as I was told so I was relieved. Interestingly she told us the amount of time you are under anesthesia effects you about the same whether you are under for 3 or 10 hours, it is the going under and coming out that are the critical times. I do remember a very fuzzy brain after surgery last time so that along with chemo brain may not be too pretty. Don’t expect much out of me after Oct. 5th!!!! Maybe I will re-read my favorite children’s books during that time and put away my new read “The Intellectual Life” Its Spirit, Conditions, Methods by A.G. Serillanges.
I will have my third chemo tomorrow, accompanied by my dear sister Cindy who came over from Seattle and has been cleaning all my cupboards!!! We have the same sense of humor and laugh a lot so we are having fun!! Tim will go with Uncle Jim and Eric to a golf tournament and then to Spencer’s baseball game then all will gather for a dinner provided by a friend. Joy in the midst of suffering!!

Before the Face of God (Personal Meditations)
June 19th by Samuel Green from “The Grace of Necessity”

One secret is to want
What the world is. The lilac
Blooms turn brown? We
Love their airy lightness, their pastel
freckles scattered on the raised grain
Of cedar boards on the deck. A hemlock
breaks off in the wind? The light is better,
say. By such small deceits
the beauty of grief is put away.

I love the idea of wanting what the world is. A card I received this week brought clarity. The woman Margaret and I had seen at Starbuck’s the first day I tried out my wig said our joy and laughter and my comment “How can I complain when God has been so good” has cheered her every day since! Would my words have had such an impact had everything in my life been as I would wish it? I love Elisabeth Elliott’s definition of suffering…having what you don’t want or wanting what you don’t have. God has many good purposes in our trials including producing fruit, to silence the devil, to glorify God, to make us more like Jesus, to teach us dependence, to refine our lives, to rebuke sin, and to enlarge our ministry. For me I am never so desperate to seek His face as when I am going through trial. C. S. Lewis once said” God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks to us in our conscience, but shouts in our pains; it is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world.” I confess I get a bit impatient with my brothers and sisters who don’t have time to read His word and pray, to faithfully pray for and find ways to share the gospel truths with those around them, who are lethargic and lukewarm about what Christ has done. But it is cancer that has motivated me. Will you let it motivate you to live more in light of eternity?

The God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. 1 Peter 5:10

Please join me in Thanksgiving and Prayer
*Thank you for so many faithful prayer warriors. Every time you pray for me would you please pray for your pastors? I am struck with how powerful your prayers are…there is NO OTHER EXPLANATION for how well we are doing. How much our pastors need our faithful prayers!!!
* Thank God for all the timely help we have received
* Thank God for helping Tim get through his busiest season. Please pray that he will be able to regroup and prioritize his time well. Thank God for continuing to give him favor in the eyes of the country club members and board and for giving him a job he enjoys.
*Please pray that my bladder infection will get cleared up before my counts drop in 7 days and that the antibiotics won’t mess with my tummy too much.
*Please pray that I will use my energy as God would have me as the fatigue accumulates each chemo round.
*Please pray that God would lift a feeling of anxiety that is just below the surface as surgery draws closer. Also we have chosen to have the test to find out if I carry the gene for breast cancer to decide if I should also have a hysterectomy. These are all “new” trials I have not faced before. Pray that He will comfort me with His word and presence and help me to take my thoughts captive.
* Please pray that God will keep Margaret and Charlie safe on their road trip and give them a wonderful time.